Sed Vitae

It's That Scammer Again

2006-09-10T08:27:00.000-07:00

Oh goodie! It is such a privilege to be finally noticed by the Esteemed Nigerian Scammer, or it could even be South African. The IP address in the header tells a different story though.

A quick WHOIS check points me to California, USA. Marvelous! This new age technology. A letter from a First World scammer to a Third World dunderhead like me. I'm not worthy of this. Really! But what do I do now, what do I do? Do I toy around with him just like Chris Condon or do I just ignore him? I can't stop rubbing my hands in glee.

Let me introduce you to my Honourable Scammer. He call himself Barrister Esom Ndu. "Are you originally from Assam, Me Lord?. I am not familiar with Ndu as an Indian surname I must inform, Sir."

He informs me that and his rich client has met with a tragic plane crash. So what else is new? Here is the transcript of his letter with a few inputs from yours truly. Enjoy!

ATTN: FROM THE DESK OF: BARRISTER ESOM NDU.
Ndu & Associates
No. 54 Idowu Matin Street.
Private E-mail: barristeresomndu1@myway.com

Dear: Friend,

I am Barrister Esom Ndu a solicitor at law. The personal attorney to a late Mark, foreign expatriate who hails from your country and shares the same last name with you. I wish to bring to your hearing a business proposition, which is by nature strictly confidential, and i beg your pardon to accept my unsolicited email to you, (What?) I will like to seek your help in which I know that a deal of this magnitude will make anyone worried and apprehensive but I am assuring you not to be afraid, as all will be well at the end of this endeavor.

This is a genuine transaction and is 100% risk free. All I'm demanding from you is your honest co-operation to enable us achieve our goal, and not a perfidious person. On the 6th of May, 2002 it was reported to us that my Client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a Local Plane Crash (He writes a lot like J. A. Prufrock.) at Kano State,enroute Abuja (The Capital City) all occupants in the Plane lost their lives, unfortunately on this same flight were other dignitaries like the Sports Minister and a host of others. (Poor fellow!)

The following websites could be referenced:
http://www.usafricaonline.com/ngrkanocrash.html
http://www.hinduonnet.com/2002/05/05/stories/2002050503070101.htm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1968616.stm (Ah, references! How thoughtful?)

Since then I have made several enquiries to your Embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.

I contacted you to assist in claiming this fund from the finance house where he deposited it before his untimely death. The finance company where the deceased had an account valued at about USD$7. Million dollars has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next ten official working days.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 2 years now I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name so that the proceeds of this account valued at USD$7. million dollars can be paid to you as the next of kin. (Yipee! I'm rich, I'm rich!)

All I need is your full maximum support and cooperation to enable us achieve this transaction within 10 working days and I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. (You're a barrister afterall.)

If you are interested in this transaction, kindly furnish me with your full name, address, private telephone and fax numbers to enable us commence all the legal documents immediately.
Your direct telephone and fax number's are needed for easy communication and do your best to maintain the absolute confidentiality involved because of the officials.

Best regards,
Barrister Esom Ndu
PLEASE SEND YOUR REPLY TO MY PRIVATE E-MAIL.
(Private E-mail:( barristeresomndu1@myway.com )

Whattodo folks, whattodo?

Serenity

2006-09-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

This weeks OT post.
Free image from MorgueFile.

Early Morning Surprise

2006-09-05T19:47:00.000-07:00

I wake up this morning and out of curiosity decide to check the India Blogstreet Top 100 list...my favourite steel tea mug in hand. Surprises of surprises! There is the blog at 73. How... Who... When? I think I can sum it up with that beautiful expression.

Duh!?

Crime and Punishment

2006-09-03T07:16:00.000-07:00

The Indian Supreme court upheld the decision of the Bombay High Court against Renuka Shinde and Seema Gavit, thus condemning the sisters to the hangman's noose once again. Their only hope now lies in a Presidential pardon but it wouldn't be unreasonable to predict that a pardon is not forthcoming. The Indian judiciary is very conservative about capital punishment and so awards such sentences only on what it terms as the 'rarest-of-the-rare' cases. And this is one. Traditionally there is huge uproar among the diaspora when such verdicts are read out, especially within the Anti Capital Punishment fraternity - as was in the case of late Dhananjoy. It is occasion for heated debates in all forums but interestingly all is quite this time around. Have they switched loyalties?

The reason for their silence is understandable once the gravity of the crimes of these two 'blood' sisters sink in. Their modus operandi was to kidnap toddlers and play the agent provocateur and force them into petty crimes such as picking pockets. Then they snuffed out the lives of the very innocent hands that fed them once they outgrew their utility or became a risk factor. It is also horrific to learn that the sisters were initiated into crime by their own mother Anjana Bai, who at one time was the godmother of this gang which also included Kiran Shinde husband of Renuka. Anjana Bai died in prison. Kiran later turned approver and had all charges dropped against him. Evidence of 13 kidnap cases and 9 blood-curdling murders have been corroborated and confirmed.

So what were the acts that tipped the scales against these fiends? A verbatim quote from the paper version of The Telegraph is in order here.

"Santosh, barely 18 months old, began crying one evening at a bus stand. Fearing he would draw people's attention, the women banged his head against the floor and then an iron pole till he died.
Another 18 month old, Bhavna, was gagged, bundled into a handbad and dumped in the ladies' toilet of a cinema.
Two year old Naresh was starved and beaten to death because he would wail for his mother. Three year old Pankaj made an even bigger mistake. He would talk to passers-by about his parents. So he was hung upside down from the ceiling and his head slammed against a wall." I am not a believer in capital punishment too, but even I must admit that I feel these murderous women have forfeited their chance of a good life.

These women didn’t show an ounce of remorse.

Another report informs that, “These women didn’t show an ounce of remorse. They are cold-blooded murderers. Kiran, who was also involved in the murders, was the only one who showed any emotion during the trial.”

'Not an ounce of remorse'. This was what caught my attention. The primary objective of the judiciary is reform. How will the judiciary evaluate itself on this case then? And how will it rate outcome of the verdict, which if executed, will incidentally be the first time a noose has been tied around women in independant India. Debates on capital punishment usually revolve around the following lines. Supporters claim that death-row inmates are not worthy of life or that it is inappropriate to keep them alive on tax-payers money or that death penalty acts as a deterrant. Abolitionists are quick to point out that no one has the right to another's life or that society has not benefitted much. Close, unprejudiced observation may highlight some truth about all of those claims.

As I have claimed before, I am not too convinced about terminal punishments, but my views vary from the average abolitionist. To my view, there are two kinds of victims in such instances. One, the primary victim and the other, a secondary victim. The person who has been violated and all his/her loved ones could be termed as primary victims. On the other hand the criminals' near and dear ones could be the secondary victims. It is not all that easy to be living with habitual killers and it is all the more difficult in a close-knit, conservative society like ours to come to terms with the fact that a kinsfolk has gone horribly astray. The penal laws of today have very tiny apertures and often fails to see beyond the victim, the accused, the crime scene and associated evidence. Sadly interpretations too have to be based on the pictures it shows.

The current penitentiary system in India is no less a joke. A typical day in prison would constitute morning ablutions, morning tea, meditation, then some menial labour, breakfast, some labour again, lunch, a siesta, a game of volleyball, supper, personal work and bedtime. Now most crime in India is committed to allay hunger and that most felons are by-products of abject poverty is a sad fact of India. So isn't prison-life in India perquisite enough to villainy? It is high time that this system is re-evaluated.

The daily ritual of survival is punishment enough on an average human being. It is so funny that a prison is a means of escape from that Biblical curse. The prison system should incorporate compulsory labour. New means of trade should be part of this system. A felon should be made to work not only for his own survival but also for others who have suffered in his/her hands. They could work as daily wage earners or for other forms of payment. A strict 'food for work' policy should be in place. Under the new system, prison life could be 14 hours of intense labour, 4 hours of personal time and 6 hours of rest. Further they should be made to pay routine compensation to primary and secondary victims from their own earnings. And further, life imprisonment should literally mean life imprisonment.

I can only hope my dreamy aspersions bring fruit someday. Until then, like someone said, "It is good to dream!."

Linked to Samantha Burns.

To Quote Coolidge

2006-08-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

Nothing in this world can take the
place of persistence.

Talent will not; nothing is more common
than unsuccessful people with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is
almost a proverb.

Education will not; the world is full of
educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination alone
are omnipotent.

The slogan 'press on' has solved and
always will solve the problems of the
human race.

He's Got A Point

2006-08-03T05:40:00.000-07:00

Trackback without fear of retribution.

Who are more clever? Bush supporters or non-supporters?

2006-08-01T05:13:00.000-07:00

This is stale news. Almost a year ago, MyBrainTrainer.com tested the mental acuity of people from the two opposing sections in the US political spectrum. According to MyBrainTrainer.com this test was a "completely non-partisan test designed to gauge mental speed, cognitive function, and immediate memory". The tests revealed that non-Bush supporters were "slightly more agile on the cerebral front". The founder Bruce C. Friedman is quick to point out that these tests are purely for fun and not designed to yield any scientific results.

non-Bush supporters were "slightly more agile on the cerebral front".

I bring this up as an interesting anecdote and it not my intent to ruffle someone's feathers. Interesting though it may sound, it is a fact that the brain need not age as your body ages. In most cases age-related losses in memory or motor skills simply result from inactivity and a lack of mental exercise and stimulation. Perhaps it is time for the pro-Bush coterie to renew their mental skills so that the next time such silly tests are conducted, they can beat the yellow out of their adversaries.Cognitive development is necessary in today's fast-paced world. Here are a few brain exercises you can do.

Use the hand that you normally do not use to do simple everyday tasks like brushing your teeth, dialing the phone, operating the TV remote, etc. It stimulates the opposite side of the brain than that you generally use.
Learn new things. Examples include, a new language, tai chi, yoga, dancing, modeling, sculpture, etc. It helps develop agility and hand-brain coordination.
Traveling also stimulates the brain. Visit new places. It doesn't have to be far away, a different grocery store per se.
Try neurobics. Developed by Lawrence C. Katz, Ph.D., these exercises can activate underused nerve pathways and connections, helping you achieve a fit and flexible mind. Some simple neurobic exercises like combining the two senses are fun and easy. For example, try listening to music and smelling flowers at the same time.
Read, play scrabble and bingo. These simple mind games keep your brain tick that little extra.

So much for brain trainers. Some physical exercises improve mental capacity too.

It is possible to fend off Alzheimer's disease

Walk. It is good for your brain.
Wiggle your toes when you wake up in the morning. Apparently wiggling your toes activates nerves that stimulate your brain and internal organs and keeps you perky all day.

It is possible to fend off Alzheimer's disease and other related illnesses.

How old are you biologically?

There is a simple test at Grow Youthful to guage your biological age. (I suggest you to try the longer version. The short test does not work for some reason).

Openly trackbacked @ Tor's Rants, Bloggin' Outloud

A Joke

2006-07-29T01:11:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd share a joke with you today. This one has been doing the rounds lately and is quite funny. It goes like this:
A man walks into a bar and orders a large drink. He looks very stressed out so the bar-tender says, "That's a heavy drink. What's up buddy?"
The man, still looking downcast, looks up to the bar-tender and says, "I just caught my wife in bed with my best friend."
"I'm sorry dude! So what did you do?," asked the barman.
"I looked my wife in the eye and told her to pack her bags and 'Get lost'"
"And what did you tell your friend?"
"I looked him in the eye and said 'Bad dog'"

Linked to: 123beta, Leaning Straight Up

Virtual Laser Keyboard

2006-07-28T05:19:00.000-07:00

Ever done some typing on your latest mobile phone? Isn’t it unwieldy? A good number of mobile phone come with some sort of keypad and most are inadequate for the task. Here is where the Virtual Laser Keyboard makes a killing. It is a nifty little mobile accessory ever produced. It connects to your cell phone, PDA device or computer via Bluetooth and projects a laser image of a full-size QUERTY keyboard onto any flat surface. And there you have it, a virtual keyboard! Now, even your mum won't mind you tapping the table.

It is compatible with almost any Bluetooth enabled cell phone, about the size of an average cigarette lighter and supported on PalmOS 5, PocketPC 2003, Windows Smartphone, Symbian OS, and Windows 2000/XP. It is not fully supported on MacOS as of now but things should change. The Virtual Laser Keyboard is selling like hot cakes. Expect backorders for this gizmo.

Don't we all look alike?

2006-07-26T22:36:00.000-07:00

Track without fear of retribution.

Will it be different tomorrow?

2006-07-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

He comes home tipsy and coated with blood and his scalp has been split open by a sharp object. Though the bleeding has subsided, his appearance could make everyone queasy. He has been in a fight again. It is not the first time that this has happened, but this is by far the most murderous.
So, he tiptoes into home trying to avoid the melee that usually follows upon discovery. And he also knows how emotional mother gets. It is also no secret that he is rather fond of the tipple and he never misses a chance that entitles him to a bottle. But his love for the spirits is not without side-effects, for he is uncontrollable when inebriated. Such people should avoid the drink but as we all know it is much easier said than done.
Presently, crimson water runs down the sides of the sink as he rinses the caking blood around his face and the clothes-soaked water in the washing machine has already turned vermillion. He drains and then refills the machine. Mother enters the bathroom on some pretext and then it is pandemonium. Her faint heart is unable to bear the streaks in the sink and tiles and the vermillion water. She then goes into a tirade, hurling the choicest words (but short of curses) at him. All the while, he remains quiet. Father is drawn to the commotion and issues further reprimands. He (father) is a lenient man and his caveats are not harsh but wise, usually an invective based on experience and the Bible.
“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked…,” he cautions. Further words of wisdom issue from his mouth. The culprit does not talk back.
An air of uneasy calmness encapsulates the family that night and supper is eaten in silence. TV time is boring. Never has been this way! We watch in silence, uninterested as someone repetitively flips channels.
The offender quietly stands and walks away to his bedroom. He has rediscovered sobriety.
Sleep brings peace but soon it will be morning. Will the new day be different? Will he change?

Avant Garde? Really!

2006-07-22T03:39:00.000-07:00

Quite true, actually!

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit... unusual. And so is your blog.

You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing
that pops in your head.

Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even
though that's not your intent.

You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with
new designs and content.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

India Bans Bloggers

2006-07-20T02:48:00.000-07:00

I was wondering for days, why on earth I could not access any blogs (including my own). It apparently is the Indian government’s doings. All popular blogging domains have been deliberately blocked. A high-handed retaliation to the recent Mumbai blasts. I count myself lucky that I can still post, though I cannot say for sure if it has been published because I cannot read my own writing. We have not had any official announcements as of now but if the press is to be believed, a few moronic bloggers have been issuing anti-India statements and lambasting its policies on all fronts. A few have even gone a step further so as to praise the perpetrators of the heinous seven blasts that rocked Mumbai. Thus, this!

Much as I value democratic principles, especially the right to freedom of speech, I cannot commend such remarks at this juncture. ‘There is a time and place for everything’ as the popular adage goes. About two hundred lives were lost, many more seriously maimed for life both physically and psychologically, others were very moved at the carnage, the country is seeking clues and motives and much of India (especially Mumbai) submerged under a deluge even after all this…yes, this is not the right time! The gory details are still too fresh. But then again, what do bigots care?

I am not protesting this time, as long as it is temporary

It is very true that one’s Right to Freedom of Expression and Right to Information have been seriously violated but I am not protesting this time, as long as it is temporary and I can keep posting. For how long I can maintain this state, I cannot say. At present my commiserations are fully upon the victims and that should keep me engaged for some time. But that does not mean that I endorse this interventionist policy.

As for the bombers and their consorts….. It is such a pity that I do not have a word of advice nor a reprimanding caution for them. Suddenly I am dumb. Now, if that happens to a few more, then they should know that they have toiled for nothing and not a single convert has been won over to their side. It would be better to quit than to labour for no results. Men (and women) such as these say that they are working for higher goals but in my simplistic and academic overview of things – how can one guarantee success on Graduation Day when one has rebelled in the sophomore years? Any answers?

Trackback without fear of retribution.

Political Leanings

2006-07-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

Blogging has added yet another dimension to the World Wide Web. Expressing your emotions, views, daily activities, interests and opinions never has been easier. Earlier chatrooms and bulletin boards provided fertile spaces for lexical brouhaha. Sadly chatrooms also became the favourite haunts of sexual maniacs, paedophiles, script kiddies and squeaky teens. So people who were neither had only one thing to do - quit. Blogs brought with it some respite for people who always had something to say. Blogging is spreading like wild fire with many new blogs being created every minute. Numerics are irrelevant here as long as one knows that a lot is being created every minute. Blogging isn't the domain only of the English speaking part of the world. Almost every language has a presence in the blogosphere. Interestingly, there are more Japanese blogs than that of English. Though short of a reference, I am very sure that I got this fact right. Needless to say that bloggers have categorized themselves each according to tastes and interests. The blogosphere is very colourful indeed.

most Indians are blasé too all political shenanigans

Perhaps the most read and most influential are the political blogs - and I would like to reiterate that every statement from now will be referencing the English blogs. American blogs hold the major slice of the pie in this category. Traditionally most American political blogs are liberals and so is the most widely read, Daily Kos. But that doesn't mean that the conservatives are non-existant. Many conservative bloggers are making their presence felt. From an outsider's perspective, we observe here the vibrancy of the American political system or perhaps even it's limitations. It is interesting to note what they have to say for themselves, the government in power, the politicians and oftentimes about their political adversaries. The dissertations from both sides are not always a feast of reason and the flow of the soul. Even then, heated though their dialogues may be, the sheer ability to promulgate one's beliefs with full freedom and without fear of starting riots (the bloody kind) is commendable. Tis not so the case in India though. A democracy we are and constitutionally assured of freedom of speech too, however one has to be extra careful to play the right notes especially in public. The average American however, is not given a choice of a middle path. One is either on this side or the other side. Surely, there are 'moderate conservatives' or perhaps even 'orthodox liberals' but they still are divided by their loyalties. A lack of choice could be one drawback of the American political system in my point of view. It is quite the contrary here in India. There is no dearth of choices for an average Indian. An Indian has the option to switch loyalties every day of a year (or two), literally. The over-abundance of political parties is a stark reality in India. And parties continue to sprout. Most new parties are formed by breakaway groups who somehow have fallen out with the parent body - sometimes on trivial or whimsical issues.

India is no place for a two party political system in my opinion. It could be attributed to the eclectic weave that the Indian diaspora is. Ideally, a democracy should not be divided on social, religious or regional lines. Such an idyllic political setting can at best be described as romantic and could take an awfully long time to emerge, if ever there has to be one. At present though, it is impractical. With every 29 odd or so states and Union Territories having their own major language or dialect and in many instances every district (sub-division of a state) having one too. Solely for pedantic reasons, it should be interesting to note that a few states in NE India can boast of a separate culture in each of their villages. Further, to compound matters, every major religion is represented in some numbers. With such a varied playing field as this, how can a few national parties with all-encompassing agendas ensure not hurting sentiments of any group? I wonder. Thus we have many political groups formed on regional lines. Even the larger parties have regional divisions (which is known to have been unsupportive of their own bosses on occasions merely to safeguard local interests).

Quite unlike our American counterparts, most Indians are blasé too all political shenanigans (and we should be forgiven for that). It should be safe to assume that most Indians vote the candidate and not the party. How can I say such a thing? And I'd say, where else can you find people being paid to attend political rallies? Yet we are bombarded from all quarters with Republican and Democrat philosophies, however irrelevant it may be to us. Finally a passing repartee, I know more about US politics than I do of my own country. Now, is that bad or good? I do not know!

Facelift

2006-07-08T21:45:00.000-07:00

It is finally presentable! I've spent the last four days testing my design on various platforms, viz. Firefox, IE and Opera with interesting conclusions. Another thing, testing your design on your computer is one thing and verifying if Blogger accepts it is quite another. The design had come a long way since its inception as a doodle on a scrap of paper and I was immensely pleased. In my opinion, the concept passed in each of the browsers I use. "Not bad for a first attempt at tableless holy grail design," I kept repeating to myself boastfully. I was completely flummoxed when once on the system, the design failed miserably. The painstaking pixel-by-pixel measurement disintegrated completely. Something had gone terribly, terribly wrong. Strange, my layout wasn't supposed to do the splits! A thorough scrutiny ensued, a line at a time. Nothing! A test on my computer proved nothing but the same code copy-pasted into Blogger produced ghastly results. Just when I was about flog myself with a bunch of French beans, the culprit was discovered in the guise of empty divs that Blogger generates for reasons unknown to me. Horrible, horrible divs and my three-column layout was anything but three-column. I was now in damage control mode - carefully nudging the columns into place but the outcome was inconsistent. While it seemed to work for one browser, others literally threw up.

To cut the story short - after much hair plucking - I can now take it easy. Only a few things remain to be done, those little extras that a blog should have. They can be done at leisure. The design shows up fairly consistently on most browsers so I am willing to share my design (if you care) under an Open Design License. You can write to me at and please do mention 'Blog Design' in the subject line. Also, corrections are welcome, moreso improvements. With due respects, I however will not do troubleshooting. You are on your own once you get the code. Thank you!

Trackbacked at: Samantha Burns

Old Things Must Make Way For The New

2006-07-05T05:48:00.000-07:00

Every year around this time the monsoons sweep across India bringing with it good tidings of a bountiful harvest. The rustic denizens of thousands of villages raise their eyes heavenward in expectant search of tiny flecks dispersed across the azure. And in an opportune moment, they converge, hold council and decide which part of India shall be blessed and which cursed. Thus has been the ways for generations.
When the rains finally do arrive, the dull browns give way to fresh greens, expediting a new lease of life once more. The air is rife with a sweet earthy odour that no perfumery in Europe can replicate. Old things must make way for the new, and so shall it be here.
I much needed a break after a gruelling month. I was both physically and mentally spent as is the case with anyone preparing for a test - only mine was extended over a fortnight. Particularly agonizing was the hectic schedule I had to keep almost every alternate day which included a 3 hours drive down the mountainous terrain to Siliguri (where my testing centre is located), write my exam in the 30+ ° C sweltering heat and then commute back again from the plains to the cool hills. Also, the profound effect the difference in climate in the two regions had on my migraines needs special mention. I am glad that I've seen the last of my Master in Computer Sciences course. And here ends my academic pursuits.
A phase of my life has just ended and I am anticipating a shower of blessings on my life too.

...the new design is still a work in progress...

I was the only among my posse of buddies who had a reason enough to celebrate - but sadly couldn't. So there I was among the sombre lads hypocritically donning an expression of disdain, albeit reluctantly. I finally weaned myself away from the depressive society when the mood got a bit too much to take. With no congratulatory tunes for me I took it upon myself to celebrate in my own special way. I finally wound up in a nondescript tea-stall and had a celebratory cuppa and buttered toasts.
The next two days were mine without doubt, and then it was back to handling the family business - the best intermediary support system the Indian joint family has to offer before I make it on my own. I spent the days reading a few of my favourite blogs and deciding to re-design my own. As you can see the new design is still a work in progress.

Please Bear with Me

2006-06-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

I have an exam coming up so I might not be able to post as much for the next twenty days or so. Apologies in advance and thank you for your good wishes. In the meantime, you can trackback this post to your heart's content. This is an OT post you know!

Survey Results

2006-06-01T00:11:00.000-07:00

I had asked if my blog needed a facelift fifteen days ago. The response to that survey was overwhelming and a whopping seven (yes, seven) people managed to vote. Very reminiscent of any democracy. People want it but forget to vote. Nevertheless, I am grateful to all who voted.
The decision is pretty much split between those who want a design change but not the colour scheme and those who want a new colour scheme but the same design. All right people, I can take a hint. Opera users seem to be having some issues with the present get-up too. Thanks David for pointing that out. Expect an overhaul in the near future.
I have been scouting around for new design templates for my blog. I have found quite a few. Have a look at these great free templates for Blogger and others. (Beth should be pleased with this). Don’t expect me to copy paste any of them. Whole scale plagiarizing is not my forte, free or not. Instead I will settle on one of the designs, learn the layout and techniques and aim to design my own. Everything, including the code will be mine. Thank you.

Permalink and trackback for this post. As usual is where the party is. Rhymes with Right trackbacked here previously. So did Planck's Constant. Linked to TMH Bacon Bits, Gribbit's Word.

This is what I call Home

2006-05-31T06:26:00.000-07:00

This is an OT post feel free to trackback.

Free Image Host and Online Game

2006-05-30T09:57:00.000-07:00

I had to share this with one and all. What can be better than a photo host that requires no registration, login and all that nonsense? Simply upload your picture, copy your URL and paste it to your blog. As simple as that - and no limits too.

Have a go at this online game called Sink My Ship. It is Ajax based so you might need a browser that supports it. Once again, no registration and no login. Just type in a nickname and join the game. Expect some swearing and taunting on their chat system.

Permalink and TrackbackURL for this post.
Trackbacked to: the florida masochist, Planck's Constant, Adam's Blog, Bluestar Chronicles, third world county,

Of LIfe, Autocrats and The Bottomless Pit

2006-05-29T09:05:00.000-07:00

Her story touched my heart. This sweet little cheerleader found God and much more, leaving me much to ponder about. The slide show celebrating her life was equally moving. There is only one reason why she had to go so young. I think God needed a cheerleader in his squad too.
Requiescat in pace, Staci Stephens.

At the other end of the spectrum are people who have not found or are seeking God. Their letters to God are both amusing and emotive. Then there are those who show us a glimpse of paradise through the muzzle of a gun. Good to see that a few have discovered that it is the wrong apparatus for the purpose. It is a step in the right direction and the outcome of the efforts of these brave young souls.

Now, see where this autocrat has landed up for his despotic follies. Thanks for the link, J. Bowen.

Permalink & TrackbackURL for this post.
Open trackbacker today: Mark My Words

Lake of Destiny

2006-05-26T01:48:00.000-07:00

Satan bow’d, and was silent. “Well, if you,

With amiable modesty, decline
My offer, what says Michael? There are few
Whose memoirs could be render’d more divine.
Mine is a pen of all work; not so new
As it was once, but I would make you shine
Like your own trumpet. By the way, my own
Has more of brass in it, and is as well blown.

He ceased, and drew forth an MS.; and no
Persuasion on the part of devils, saints,
Or angels, now could stop the torrent; so
He read the first three lines of the contents;
But at the fourth, the whole spiritual show
Had vanish’d, with variety of scents,
Ambrosial and sulphureous, as they sprang,
Like lightning, off from his “melodious twang.”

Saint Peter, who has hitherto been known
For an impetuous saint, upraised his keys,
And at the fifth line knock’d the poet down;
Who fell like Phaeton, but more at ease,
Into his lake, for there he did not drown;
A different web being by the Destinies
Woven for the Laureate’s final wreath, whene’er
Reform shall happen either here or there.

He first sank to the bottom – like his works,
But soon rose to the surface – like himself;
For all corrupted things are buoy’d like corks,
By their own rottenness, light as an elf,
Or wisp that flits o’er a morass: he lurks,
It may be, still, like dull books on a shelf,
In his own den, to scrawl some “Life” or “Vision,”
As Welborn says – “the devil turn’d precisian.”

As for the rest, to come to the conclusion
Of this true dream, the telescope is gone
Which kept my optics free from all delusion,
And show’d me what I in my turn have shown;
All I saw farther, in the last confusion,
Was, that King George slipp’d into heaven for one;
And when the tumult dwindled to a calm,
I left him practicing the hundredth psalm.

Excerpt from ‘The Vision of Judgment’ by Lord Byron.

This is an OT post. Feel free to trackback. Trackback URL & Permalink.
I took it upon myself to re-design the Linkfest chiclet in the unwritten standard-size that's doing the round these days. I didn't quite like the original, to be blunt (but modest). I will be using this from now on. You may use this if you wish but I think it would by nice to ask the Linkfest guys first. Please host it on your own server if you do use it.
Blogs I followed last night & the night before: Samantha Burns, Bluestar Chronicles, Customer Servant, Mark My Words, Third World County, Conservative Cat

Hot Rodding your PC

2006-05-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

What do you think this is? A microphone used by the gyrating King of Pop? Think again. Believe it or not, it is a computer. Another trivia. What is the case made of? Aluminum! Wrong again. It is made of wood and it’s ingenious creator is Jeffrey Stephenson. Computer modification or ‘modding’ is all a rage nowadays. Clever geeks are coming up with newer and flashier designs. Some of them, like the microphone above, are so cleverly disguised that it difficult to pass them off as a humble PC at first glance. Take the case of this retro 1960s~70s style radio PC designed (again) by Jeffrey.

Computer ‘modding’ was initiated by gamers who were ever trying to get more out of their PCs. It first started of as little tricks or hacks to impress their fellows, such as custom paint jobs, addition of accessories and over-clocking, which in essence is augmenting the speed of a PC by little tweaks on the motherboard. Over-clocking has now gone mainstream and anybody who’s somebody with a PC can do it. Then came, see-through cases, LED and neon lights to spruce up the boring towers or cabinets. Lately it is water-cooling systems, LCD processor temperature displays, touch-sensitive drives, et cetera. The possibilities are inexhaustible. Computer modification is a booming business and presently even conventional PC manufacturers are joining in. What was ‘hot-rodding’ in the 1970s is ‘modding’ today.

Water Cooling Kit

So do you want to give it a shot? All that is required is some ingenuity, some knowledge of hardware (or how a PC is put together), a few coppers to spare and plenty of time to carry out the task. Are you game? Get those rusty carpenter’s tools out and build yourself a simple wooden computer or if you want to try something simpler still, how about custom painting your computer. And don’t forget to turn off the PC while you are at it.

Trackback URL & Permalink for this post.
Today's links on linkfest & some random Open Trackbackers: Third World County, This May...or Not, Those Bastards.

Evil Spammers

2006-05-18T12:12:00.001-07:00

I should have written this long time ago. It concerns a serious offence in the internet world today, aka spamming. Spamming has been controlled to some degree by a few edicts but, as we all know, no law is deterrent enough for hardened criminals. Thus we continue to receive unsolicited mail. Spam promoting products, get-rich-quick schemes, stocks, replica watches, etc. though very vexing seems pardonable when compared to those that contain viruses, spy-ware and key-loggers. These usually come as attachments and should not be opened at any cost. I have been receiving these persistent buggers for some time now and it can all be traced to that one fateful day when I decided to send a friend an e-card through 123Greetings.com.

I have been receiving these horrible emails ever since with very beguiling subject-lines such as ‘Hello’, ‘Earn money’, ‘Hi’ and so on. Not one to be easily outsmarted, I have never dared to take a peek at the attachments that follow besides my email service provider has also correctly sensed them to contain viruses. These emails are difficult to block because 123Greetings.com uses the hundreds of email addresses of unsuspecting users like me to send through proxy. I was horrified when I received one such email from my own address. More so when I received one from another cautioning me against mailing viruses (in not particularly beautiful language). The only way to block these emails, I presume, is through the IP address though I am not aware of any email service provider that does just that. Any information is welcome on this front. Sadly now, this particular inbox is unusable.

I am not the kind to jump to conclusions. Oh yes, I am not. So, just to give 123Greetings.com the benefit of doubt, I tried a simple test. I opened up another email account and I decided to send myself a greeting card through 123Greetings.com to this brand new address. Presto! The trick worked. I now receive spam at this address that no one else knows save but I and 123Greetings.com. On closer inspection, I traced the sending IP address to the Middle-East (UAE).

I am now doubly confirmed, 123Greetings.com emails viruses. Beware of 123Greetings.com. Don’t send e-cards through 123Greetings.com and don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Spread the word. I want this caveat to show up on the first page of Google, Yahoo, Dogpile and the like. There are a zillion other similar unpleasant sites. Fellow bloggers, let us fight back.

Linkfest for more...
Ideazione, 123beta trackbacked the previous OT post.

Does this blog need a facelift?

2006-05-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

I have re-designed this blog not less than 6 times and 3 times this year already. Call me obsessive but that is something I like to do. I still haven't found my design nirvana. I don't aim to win awards with my design. I prefer a simple home-page that can take a lot of ever changing information. So what do you think? Do you think this blog needs a new design? Or is it just fine.

Please take a quick (5 question) survey and let me know. Your insights will be greatly appreciated. The results will be posted towards the end of May.

The survey is here.

Open Trackbackers today: Pirate's Cove, Courting Destiny, Bloggin' out Loud, Land of Ozz, Committees of Correspondence, The Tar Pit, Pirates! Man your Women!, Forward Biased, Conservative Cat, Right Wing Nation. Some great blogs are listed on Linkfest.

Open Trackback Post - Featuring the OTA

2006-05-12T05:57:00.000-07:00

If you still are not a member of the Open Trackback Alliance (OTA) then you are missing something. A lot of things actually. What is the OTA? Why should I join? What is there in it for me? Samantha Burns will answer all these and much more.

Without much ado I present to you all the bloggers who are featuring Open Trackback posts today. Leaning Straight Up, Stray Dog, Macbros' Place, Gospel Fiction, Comedian Jenee, Woman Honor Thyself, The Conservative Cat, Don Surber, NIF, Right Wing Nation, Colbert Report and imagine kitty magazine.

The following trackbacked the previous OTA post here at Sed Vitae: 123Beta, Dane Bramage, Tors Rants, Planck's Constant. Or you can visit Linkfest for a more extensive list.

I do not follow a regular regimen while blogging. However, for the sake of keeping my commitments to the OTA, I will host an open trackback every Thursday or Friday. Samantha Burns, on the other hand, has booked me for Thursdays. So I will probably not feature on today's list. Now if only Sam would have me booked for both days. This is my OTA post for this week. So feel free to trackback this post.

Before casual unprotected sex, remove brain and place on bedside table

2006-05-10T05:20:00.000-07:00

Notions of South Africa's former Deputy President who was on trial recently for alleged rape - "He explained unashamedly, that in accordance with Zulu tradition he had been brought up to understand that a man could not abandon a woman in a state of arousal, otherwise she might become infuriated, and accuse him falsely of rape.

In other words, he had had no choice but to carry on.

If that was not bad enough, Mr. Zuma told the court he thought the risk from HIV was small, and that he had taken a shower immediately after the sexual intercourse on the night in question, because - he believed - it was one thing that might reduce the chances of contracting HIV.

These assertions came from the man who was head of the National Aids Council and the Moral Regeneration Campaign." - If that does not ring a bell, then you might want to read this.

Such comments are not entirely unexpected of late, especially if the communicator has anything to do with presidency. President, Vice President, Deputy President et cetera et cetera, irrespective of class, colour, creed, sex or nationality. It is not that we have very highly evolved leaders of our own. Stupid comments seem to be the norm of the political fraternity today.

Going by the statement given above, according to Zulu customs, one cannot leave a willing and ready woman in the lurch. Or else, she may accuse you of rape. And Mr. Zuma was indeed accused of rape. A question to Mr. Zuma, "Did you or did you not...perform?" Please elaborate. I am extremely confused.

Jokes apart, AIDS is a serious issue in South Africa. South Africa is currently experiencing one of the most severe HIV epidemics in the world. By the end of 2003, there were around 5.3 million people living with HIV in South Africa, and more than 1,000 AIDS deaths occurring every day, according to UNAIDS estimates. UNAIDS goes on to say that 'South Africans spend more time in funerals than the barber (coiffeur, if you may)' - and that therein speaks for itself. The learned Mr. Zuma also presumes that 'taking a shower after sex with an infected partner' could reduce chances of infection. Is it a cold shower or a hot shower? Perhaps the erudite Deputy President should enlighten us.

The Deputy eventually did win the courtroom battle. Good for him and his political career. We can however safely assume that he will not be holding the top-post of National Aids Council anymore. Good for South Africa and the rest of the world. How can he ever teach the people what he does not know?

The whole world criticizes the antics and educated remarks of world leaders but there are very few who will correct their errors. This is a small step towards educating our world leaders about the Causes and Prevention of AIDS. So, I would request the Presidents, the Prime Ministers, the Kings and Queens and the Chairmans of the world to please go through this short course thoroughly. It shouldn't take more than five minutes and is in SIMPLE ENGLISH.

Causes of AIDS: AIDS (Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) is caused by a virus called by HIV (human immunodeficiency virus). HIV infection breaks down the bodies natural defence system (immune system) thereby increasing chances of contracting other diseases such as pneumonia and cancer. These 'other' diseases are the ones that kill. The HIV virus may live in the body for 5 to 8 years before actual symptoms appear. It is then that you have AIDS (a stage when the body cannot fight infection anymore). There is no known cure till date, only treatments to postpone imminent death or prolong your agony. Which ever way you want to look at it.

How does HIV spread? There are four main causes of HIV infections.

Unprotected Sex with an infected partner (Mr. Zuma please note) - whenever, whereever, whatever and however, irrespective of class, colour, creed, sex or nationality. The probability of one not being infected is pretty grim, nothing to write home about.
Blood Transfusion - There is nothing much you can do about this except sue. Governments around the world are taking steps to irradicate chances of infection through transfusion. It involves strict observance of blood donation and transfusion ethics and techniques. Ensure that the blood being transfused is certified HIV negative.
Sharing Needles - This kind of infection is very common among substance abusers and it is increasing alarmingly. Insist on using your own needle or better still, join a rehabilitation program.
From mother to baby - An infected mother can pass on the virus to her child. There is a possibility of the child not being infected, albeit it is very slim.

Myths about HIV/AIDS (they are all false)

You can get AIDS :-

by sharing workspace, everyday utensils with an infected person.
by shaking hands provided that you do not have any open wounds.
by kissing (externally). Ensure that you do not have open sores/wounds in your mouth if you prefer it mouth-to-mouth.
from insect bites such as mosquitoes, etc.

Latest myth. Can one can reduce chances of HIV infection by having a shower after sex? Answer - NO. Silly question!

Prevention of AIDS: During a sexual act, only condoms, be they male or female, can reduce the chances of infection with HIV and other STIs and the chances of becoming pregnant. The best evidence to date indicates that condom use reduces the risk of heterosexual HIV transmission by approximately 80%.

The United States government and health organizations both endorse the ABC Approach to lower the risk of acquiring AIDS during sex:

Abstinence or delay of sexual activity, especially for youth,

Being faithful, especially for those in committed relationships,

Condom use, for those who engage in risky behaviour.

Ladies, gentlemen and distinguished guest, I hope I have addressed your concerns a little bit. For further references you can visit, Wikipedia, Avert.

Open Trackbackers today:

Linkfests, Right Wing Nation, Stop the ACLU, Stuck on Stupid, Imagine Kitty Magazine, third world county

Back Tracking Trackback Tracking back

2006-05-03T12:26:00.000-07:00

Phew! I've finally got around to understanding the nitty-gritties of trackbacks with a little help from here and there. I have never been so overwhelmed with technology. Did I say that I am a techie? (I say this with a sweaty forehead and a stupid grin.) Yup! I ought to be the moron of the week. There are no two ways about that. I have been blogging for just a wee bit over 5 months and am pretty much pleased with what I have achieved so far. I am now averaging three figure hits a day now. That Isn't so bad, is it? I still am an insignificant microbe in this cornucopia of blogs, which was manifested to me by a generous six figure a year blogger. Now that the bubble has burst, I decided to do take the bull by it's horns id est, join the OTA.

The basic tennets of the OTA can be summed up by - you scratch my blog I scratch yours (and we have software for that). So this can be considered to be my first Open Trackback post or bio-mass.

Linkfest here I come.

Free MP3 for classical lovers

2006-04-29T05:19:00.000-07:00

Indulge yourself in these musical masterpieces. There are umpteen music scoresheets to choose from and for almost any instrument. What started off as a research tour to look for scoresheets for my guitarist brother, threw up a lot of hidden gems. Mind you it took me hours to sift through the rubble to produce classical pieces of worth. There are umpteen MP3s as well.

For starters, here is a site which is true to its name. Download free music scoresheets and accompanying MIDI or MP3s files. All the scoresheets are in PDF so you might need a reader to view them. Its a virtual store-house. If you are finicky about classical guitar music, you can visit a professional master's site. The home page is huge and may take time to load, especially if you are on dial-up, but it is worth the wait. Further search produced valuable links for those who swear by Bach. Mutopia Project is dedicated to music and very similar to the Gutenberg Project, which ofcourse is dedicated to literature though you may find some music here too. Finally, this very informative site has a little something for everybody. Classicals, originals, MP3s, original movie soundtracks and some reviews. Apart from being free, I found a few of these music sheets to be in the public domain which means you may modify, distribute or make copies without worrying about copyright infringement.

This has been a rewarding search indeed.

Lost in the Hunt

2006-04-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

We had severe storms for the past 3 days. Today was much better - bright and sunny. The heavy winds and the rains uprooted trees in the vicinity leading to a total blackout. These are some of the perks of living in a mountainous region. Thank God the power supply has been resumed. It is erratic but acceptable. We have long learnt to be less demanding than people elsewhere. I will have to hurry up before another power outage.

It is such a pity. We were having such a fine hunt. Now we seem to be lost. The incessant rains and gale has cut short our trip. Virtually too. So let us hurry to the warmth and comfort of home. Hurry, hurry, hurry! Hurry home! Hurry home! We shall dry our clothes, have a warm glass of milk and warm ourselves by the fire.

Papa shall take you out on a camping trip another day. Er...umm....I prawwwww...missssss. Woohoo! What an Easter!

And So The Hunt Carries On

2006-04-15T05:25:00.000-07:00

We continue with the Easter Treasure Hunt series leaving behind a trail of deciphered clues. Imagine a few hundred years from now when we will be able to travel the wide open expanse of the skies in search of other worlds. Won't that be a huge treasure hunt of some sorts? Will we have to battle iron-fisted extraterrestrial dictators and an army of bloodthirsty critters? Maybe, but I should be safe in my nuclear powered titanium spaceship. Back to earth. Right now I have something else to do. Someone has been messing around with my computer. Can't wait till I locate that idiot and pelt him with hot potatoes. On the other hand, I can get myself a plethora of ruthless weapons and irradicate that mischievous imp. Yeah! I think that is a better idea. Yipee! Duck hunting season has come to SedVitae.

This investigative tracking has given me a lot of leads and goodies. A few more of them and I shall have enough to set up shop.

...the hunt concludes tomorrow

Easter Weekend Treasure Hunt

2006-04-14T04:40:00.000-07:00

It is the season once again of Easter Eggs, Easter Bunnies and Treasure Hunts. Treasure Hunts? Yeah! That's right. A treasure hunt is a traditional Easter game in our family. I remember as a kid scooting around the house and neighbourhood in search of clues and that elusive egg filled with sweets, toys and other assorted goodies. Dad was never good at hiding things. It usually began with simple 'do this' and 'go there' clues and slowly graduated to cryptic codes. The doting Sherlock Holmes acolyte in me deciphered them all. Ah, twas a simple life!

So, keeping in line with traditions, here I go treasure hunting again. Armed with nothing more than Google, Yahoo Search, Dogpile, Ask and my trusty old keyboard and mousie, I embark on a virtual treasure hunt and record every step for posterity. Let us see what cryptic queries like 'allintitle:free+stuff+open+source-"buy"-"purchase"-"$"' throw up along the way. The aftermath of this endeavour should be an interesting collection of gratis products.

As an audiophiles, I rip very often - (not to be confused with strip, which I often do in the privacy of my own room. I may even be posting this in the buff. Eh?). For the serious ripper there is a versatile CD ripper and encoder which rips anything. An even better product supports a very wide range of audio formats - HOWEVER it comes in a 30 day trial package now. It used to come for free once upon a time. I wonder why they stopped? Start converting those songs to MP3. Don't sell your collections please. Musicians work twice as hard (than me) to bring you those melodies. Speaking of musicians - budding musicians can try a hand at audio mixing. Go! Plug in that guitar. Record tracks, mix them, add a touch of sound effects and hear the strings go wah-wah. It is a favourite of mine. I mostly use it to dampen the noise of those scratchy MP3s and it does a fine job. One more thing! Remember those apocryphal tales about hearing Satanic messages on some albums when played in reverse? Well, some of it is true. You have my word on that. How about some video editing too? More and more people are finding ingenious usage for webcams or handycams or mobile phones for that matter.

All of us would like to maintain pretty good privacy, especially over a network. Save yourself a lot of trouble by encrypting all data sent over your network. Share files and send messages without having to worry about pesky password snatchers and snoopers. At last we can have some privacy without paying for a bouncer. Further, fortify your computer with ancient ideas in its modern avatar to keep your enemies out. Commission a spy tracker or two to root out any spies who shag your system. Programmers may write their own software from scratch in Java or C according to your preference.

Every now and then I like to work with images. I have Adobe Photoshop to help me out but for a select few who are dissatisfied with the Photo Editor your OS ships in with and also don't want to dish out a handsome sum, help is at hand. Now you can redesign your blog ten times a day and write home about it.

...the hunt continues tomorrow.

We all love comics. Don't we?

2006-04-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

There were times when comics provided us with hours of entertainment and escape from stress. We had a group in school and another in college solely for the purpose of swapping comics. It was a simple set-up whose ideals were something like this: I have an interesting comic book you haven't read. You have one I haven't read. Let's swap.

Select Series
Asterix and the Roman Agent
Asterix and Son
Asterix in Belgium
Asterix and Cleopatra
Asterix and the Banquet
Asterix the Gladiator
Asterix in Britain
Asterix in Switzerland
Asterix and the Soothsayer

That phase is gone for good but I still cannot resist the temptation of reading them whenever I see one. If ever. Good comics were expensive commodities mind you, and still are. Most of them were imported stuff and purchasing every new issue was out of the question. So the next best option was our rudimentary but effective networking strategy. That way, we shared a mutually satisfying give and take relationship and also ensured a steady supply of reading material. The network spanned our own buddies to even teachers. Archies comics, Asterix and Obelix, Tintin, all the super-heroes series, etc were in high demand. Particularly, the Asterix series and the Tintin series because of their low circulation and also due to everyone’s urge to hang on to them just a little bit longer. Archies comics were a little freely available but still a much sought after product. When the imported stuff was in low supply, we always had the homespun Tinkle comics and the Amar Chitra Katha editions to fall back on. Yes, they were just as entertaining. What set the Indian comics apart from their extravagant foreign peers was their simplicity. Also, most of them were a collection of folk tales and ideas sent in by the readers themselves. They however were frowned upon by the esteemed members of the academia, mainly because of their uncountable typos and below par English. Smuggling them into school was risky business. They were promptly confiscated whenever a copy was spotted doing the rounds. We never had the gumption or the grounds to protest this parochialism. It was ironical that I did likewise to my students during my short stint as a primary school teacher. Come to think of it, our tutors were absolutely correct. There, I said it!

Select Series
Tintin en Amerique (Tintin in America)
Tintin and the Picaros (Adventures of Tintin Series)
Tintin in Tibet (Adventures of Tintin Series)
The Adventures of Tintin: (Adventures of Tintin Series: Three-In-One #1)
The Adventures of Tintin: (Adventures of Tintin Series: Three-In-One #2)
The Adventures of Tintin: (Adventures of Tintin Series: Three-In-One #3)
Six Adventures of Tintin, Volume 1 (Adventures of Tintin Series)
Tintin: The Complete Companion

Our tryst with comics didn’t stop there though. The more we delved into the make-believe world of caricatures, the more territories we discovered. There were the War classics, the Westerns and I even discovered a British strip called Beano in a used book stall one day. A rare treat - atleast in this part of this world. Then we chanced upon a whole new domain of Photo Comics. Here we saw the painstakingly drawn cartoons being replaced by more modern photos. These had the makings of a typical Mills & Boon romance and so were very popular among the girls. I cannot recall the exact nomenclature of these books. They were called Photo-something or Picture-something. Anyway, the likes of these gave us a chance to see the dramatis personae in full colour. Oftentimes, devoid of clothing. These were banned in school. Possession of one could bring you untold misfortunes - mainly to a certain part of your anatomy.

Nonetheless, my favourite comics strips have always been Asterix & Obelix and Tintin. Asterix comics incidentally are not very popular in the States, so I heard. Why so? Probably because USA had a thriving comic industry. Or probably because they were French. Possibly! The allergies a Frenchman can give an American are no secret. Very similar too, the state of affairs between the Gauls and the Romans. Interestingly, Hergẻ’s daring reporter Tintin has been quite controversial in the States. It still remains as popular as ever.

Eat Chicken - Very Good For You

2006-03-30T07:21:00.000-08:00

Discount offers

Enjoy Chinese Cuisine (Quick and Easy Series)

We are all aware of the recent bird flu attack on India. The H5N1 virus first emerged in the western state of Maharashtra and spread panic thereafter. Recent reports suggest that the avian flu virus has resurfaced in the central state of MP. The epidemic seems to be moving eastwards. Health authorities have been able to control the situation so far. Well done boys! We also are grateful to the overworked scientists in Bangalore. Testing samples from all over India surely must be a very hectic job. The job could not be complete without the culling of thousands of birds ofcourse. A nightmarish proposition for the PFA people, but "You've got to do what you gotta do!" - which further fuels fire to their
Go Veggie evangelism. Some people however, will not change. Incorrigible people! Namely, yours truly & family, who are die-hard carnivores.

Chicken is safe. Chicken is good. Who says? Not I but WHO? Properly cooked poultry products are safe so they say. I wholeheartedly agree and would like to add to that. Chicken is protein. Chicken is cheap. Chicken is tasty. Our own health officials endorse the above and through various media suggest that chicken cooked at around 70°C (158°F) should be safe for good eatin'. Which also means that one should avoid barbecue for the moment. All carnivores know that barbecue meat tends to go uncooked nearer to the bones. Also avoid your favourite tandoori chicken for a while. Further, prefer boiled eggs to others. Or if you must, scrambled eggs and omelettes should be risk-free. I however cannot say likewise for fried eggs - sunny-side up - with the gooey yolk. I don't like it anyway. Moreover, all human cases of avian flu (so far) are not related to consumption. The number of human H5N1 related deaths concerned workers who were exposed to the birds and their faeces for extended periods of time. So, has the virus jumped species? Has the virus mutated? No. Not yet!

We have been eating poultry as usual. And we are still alive. Thank you! No runny noses, splitting headaches and delirious fever in our family. Period. Eat chicken I say - and try the following simple recipe:

Weight Watchers Take-Out Tonight!

Chicken Noodle Soup (preparation time: about 30 minutes)
2oz. (60g) noodles
3oz. (90g) chicken breasts
some shelled peas
some mushrooms chopped
some carrots chopped or stripped
7~8 cups chicken stock
Seasoning
Pepper and salt to taste
A little ajinomoto - MSG (monosodium glutamate)
Preparation

Add noodles to boiling water and boil for 5 minutes. Drain excess water. Rinse with cold water. Set aside.
Slice chicken
Boil chicken stock. Add meat and vegetables and cook for 3~4 minutes.
Add noodles and seasoning. Simmer further for 2 minutes over medium heat.
Eat

Errata: I would like to make a few corrections in the above post. Contrary to what has been said, the bird flu virus has indeed jumped species. Infact, a similar phenomenon occured years ago, in 1918. Also, the virus has mutated. On the bright side, the virus can be contained and properly cooked chicken is safe to eat. So that information still is true. The other misinformation is regreted.

Inappropriate Rhymes

2006-03-24T02:20:00.000-08:00

Surely times have changed and so has language with it. As cultures mix and new relationships forge, people have learnt that knowledge of languages in its pure form is not sufficient. There are terms existing in one language but without an equivalent in another. Thus the term is adopted and overtime through widespread usage and minor modifications, it officially becomes part of the adopting tongue. The phenomenon is not limited to a specific region or language. All major languages come under its influence - moreso in multi-lingual gatherings. The internet has sped the process up even further. The internet is responsible for virtually erecting an apparent language barrier even between opposing generations. The X, Y and Z generations have developed their own lingua franca. So, while one generation can understand the meanings of LOL, ROFL and LMIAO, another generation cannot make head or tail of it. This was just an example of the de facto language of the virtual generation. Similar examples can be weaned from reality as well. The World's most popular language is not what it used to be. New terms are added every day, few terms become redundant and some evolve new meanings. Is it good or is it bad? Well then! There is always two sides to a coin isn't there?

That brings me to my point. While a particular expression may have had an innocent meaning in one generation, the same term today, may have sexual intonations associated with it. Everyday, little children in India learn

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat
Where have you been?
I've been to London to see the Great Queen.
Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat...

Now my question is. Is that Nursery Rhyme relevant anymore? I have posed this question to many. While a few have evinced concern, a few have remained conservative. The main reason promulgated by the latter group is that the children are too young to know the implications of those terms. I do not agree with this thought. Children pick up words faster than a speeding bullet and in any case terms associated with the above rhymes is no longer appropriate in polite conversation today. What about the teachers teaching them? There is always an awkward moment in the family whenever my little niece is being taught to say them. It is silent but quite evident.

Let us look at a few more which are rife with obvious sexual innuendoes.

Ding, dong bell,
Pussy in the well,
Who put her in?
Little Tommy thin....

Wee Willie Winkie,
Runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs,
In his night gown...

Who can forget the famous Jack and Jill, etc, etc, etc.... The following aren't so bare-faced but not unambiguous either.

Promo

Book of Mother Goose: A Treasury of More than 300 Classic Nursery Rhymes

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row...

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curd and whey,
There came a big spider....

There are umpteen examples we can refer to. The English have already decided to rewrite toddler's rhymes and new syllabi is being proposed (or may already be in effect). Why are we lagging behind? While there's much hullabaloo in Parliament about changes in the history syllabus, is anything being done to revamp our primeval Primary Education system. It is time someone gave it a serious thought. Afterall, a whole new generation is at stake here.

Times have changed. Language has changed. Please change my niece's Rhyme Book too?

Weird Art

2006-03-21T01:27:00.000-08:00

Giuseppe Arcimboldo (1527-1593) was an eccentric Italian painter. He was born into an affluent family which included an archbishop for a grandfather. He is famously known for his bizarre portraits of people expressed through common objects such as books, fruits and vegetables, pots and pans and fish and meat. Quite unlike many others of his ilk, (who suffered for their odd ways), he found doting patrons in the Hapsburg imperial courts of those days. While others would have paid with their heads for depicting royalty so weirdly, Ferdinand I, Maximilian II and Rudolf II, all enjoyed his paintings. Lucky for him, his kings knew how to take jokes.

Master of optical illusions, this is how he painted the Green Grocer

and this is how we better understand

the portrait.

Perhaps his most famous work is the portrait of Rudolph II.

Arcimboldo also categorized his portraits into Spring, Summer and Autumn depicted by flowers, summer fruits, autumn fruits and branches and leaves respectively for each season. Rudolph II is represented using the fruits and flowers of all seasons representing harmony.

Such art is also known as metamorphic art. Wikimedia has a lovely collection of his paintings.

Promo

Portrait of Eccentricity: Arcimboldo and the Mannerist Grotesque

God's Debris - A free eBook

2006-03-19T23:24:00.000-08:00

This one was comes from Andrew via Dilbert. A critically acclaimed book and do not ask me what it's about. I haven't read it. Honestly. I personally know many who absolutely love this book and a good few who detest it. Such is the world of literature and everyone has the right to his / her opinions. I shall download the PDF right after this. Very eager for a good read.

A little about the author, Scott Adams - also the creator of Dilbert the cartoon. A novel by a cartoonist does haul in it's share of speculation. And fancy. I am sure Scott Adams - the writer is as talented as Scott - the cartoonist.

At the moment, God's Debris sounds bit ominous to me, quite unlike the light-heartedness that we've come to expect of cartoonists. Perhaps we'll see another side to Scott. I would love insights on this book. You may tell us how this book is but not what it is about. That, I'll find out myself. Thank you.

Get the ebook.

God's Debris: A Thought Experiment

Earn Money

2006-03-16T10:54:00.000-08:00

I've been bitten by the Earn Money bug. It started off with Blogger's gentle cajoling to put Adsense on my blog. I have complied with my other blog and this blog will follow suit. Since blogger has been providing complimentary service, I thought, why not let them earn some money. What's the harm? Then there was this promise of a $100 bounty from Google. Will I earn it? Err, uhmmm...considering the immense popularity of my blog...not likely. Then again, what's the harm? I am sure most of us have come across ads which claim making a million dollars per annum is possible. Many claim to be doing it even in their sleep (Make money while you sleep) - and that too in large 36+ points font. Is it true? Maybe, maybe not! If it is true...well, good for them. But I still think, those ads are a tad too LOUD and takes about a month to load.

They typically begin off with the owner (so they claim) announcing how he/she made a filthy sum of money last month - in size 36+ font - and then after a lengthy polemic, the testimonials follow suit, awash with mug-shots and all. Finally, after a thorough brainwash through the testimonials, somewhere at the bottom is an ORDER NOW button. Order what? Some book/e-book which promises the secrets of a successful e-business venture painstakingly gleaned from zillions of trash on the net. There are thousands of sites as such, and considering each of those sites sell a book a day, i.e 365 books a year multiplied by those thousand sites, why hasn't someone spilled the beans? Are the readers sworn to secrecy or something? Do the Freemasons have a hand in this?

So is it possible to earn a million a year through the net? Yes, it is. Others have done it. Why can't we? All that is required is a functioning brain, a keen presence of mind, a spirit of persuasion (sometimes, arm-twisting or enticement), fresh ideas in copious quantities and being in the right place at the right time. Or in the case of blogging, placing the right ad at the right place.

Affiliate business is spreading like mould. The popular one's are Amazon, eBay and Google. The idea here is to be a member (affiliate/associate) of these businesses. They provide you with advertisements that you can paste on your site. A visitor, if interested will click on the ad and if you are lucky, will purchase the product. You get a commission, and if you have earned a certain amount, your commissions are reimbursed to you at the end of the month. Simple! Like I said, this business is spreading like bird-flue. So there are a thousand companies which offer such schemes and new one's are added every day. Most ads on this site belong to that category. Interested?

Thus, having saith that, will I maketh a mammoth commissioneth. Uhuhh...errrr....ummm. Not likely. Will I earneth $500 a month? Maybe. Keep my fingers crossed. Will I maketh $20 a month? Very possibleth provideth my viewers clicketh.

Prithee, keep on reading and I will keep you posteth. I will spilleth the beans.

Promos: Want to earn lots of cash? Get some education. Online.

Barnes & Noble University
Books under $10

So You Are a Movie Buff, Eh?

2006-03-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

Saturday afternoons were spent in movie halls all through high school. A close friend and I scouted through the town for a watchable movie each weekend after school. Yes, there was the occasional porn but we weren't too much into it. Nothing has a more numbing effect (both body and soul) than porn overdone (overseen?). Anyway, that phase is over and done with. It was a dismal period for movie hall owners. The theatres were sparsely populated even on weekends and business was horrible. It was quite evident from the seats that spilled its innards, unkempt floors and unsanitary condition of the toilets.

"Sit anywhere." was the usual response from the ushers. That therein speaks for itself. What was the cause? Cable TV I guess. Cable was the nouveau means of entertainment. Gone were the days of the only state run channel, Doordarshan. StarTV^TM, ZeeTV^TM, MTV^TM and what not, opened up new vistas of amusement. The Pandora's Box had been opened and so things would never be the same again. There came a day when the last of the theatres closed down. Up sprouted little video halls all over town. They were nothing but small rooms with terrible lighting and benches and chairs to seat about 20 to 50 with a video upfront. Tickets were cheap and business flourished. A whole new class of video halls was established. Each video hall dedicated itself to either Hollywood or Bollywood - and located in the dark alleys were ones which showed x-rated stuff. None of them were legal in the eyes of the law, but the police looked the other way. Probably because they kept people off the streets, generated some form of employment and some capital for themselves. A little bit of this. A little bit of that. Every owner raked in the moolah. Some of the profits made its way into updating these dingy little halls. Good chairs were brought in and the popular ones even had large screen TVs and Dolby Surround^® sound systems installed.

On one such visits we chanced upon a movie called Amazonia. The reason for the choice could be attributed to the bare naked ladies in the poster stuck outside. I still rate it as among the best movies I've seen so far. The movie was based on a true-life incident about a woman kidnapped by a forest tribe after beheading her parents. The movie revolved around her experiences with these people. It painted a beautiful picture of the culture and customs of these forest dwellers, whom we term 'uncivilized'. Our protagonist in the movie is betrothed to her captor without her consent. Strange customs, marriage to her captor (also her parent's murderer) and the ghastly sight of her parent's heads putrefying outside the Chief's hut make her life a living hell. She is indifferent and hostile to her husband, as would anybody in that situation be. She later learns that hubby dearest wasn't the one who killed her folks. They had actually been shot with poison darts by another couple (her aunt and uncle). The man (who had been observing in hiding) had merely removed the heads from the corpses. The ending was rather poignant.

My movie collection never took off. I had just a few cartoon movies and Charlie Chaplin treats to whine about. I cannot be termed a movie buff like the IMDb guys. Unlike them, my movie-watching extravaganzas were few and far between. Thanks to HBO, Star Movies and Zee Studio, I seldom have need to go to the mall - newly constructed over the ruins of Rink Cinema. I am very picky about movies. This habit perhaps was inculcated during the few years I lived in the school as a boarder. Boarders did not have the freedom that dayscholars enjoyed. Freedom was bounded by the school walls and life was hectic and full of activities. Enjoyable, but on a different level. Saturday nights were reserved for class plays, debates and quizzes. The vacant Saturdays were filled in with movie shows. The school had an ancient projector which enlightened the screen with movies, censored in unjustified doses. We were thrust upon with oldies most of the time, perhaps of their modest content. They occasionally came up with classics such as Chase the Crooked Shadow. This, a thriller in black and white, haunts me even today. A very memorable show. Galileo Galilei was another unforgettable moving picture. Very slow. Very boring. I want to forget the 2 hours or more of torment we had to go through. Alas, I cannot!

Morale Booster

2006-03-07T09:19:00.000-08:00

This just out in the paper version of Reader's Digest. It is a great write-up on Confidence. I found it of worth to write about. I present to you the essence of this interesting piece.

All of us struggle at some point in our lives. Herein ends the similarity. Some will go on to be winners while a great many have to accept defeat. 'Loser' is a derogatory way to put it. So what makes some of us winners and more than half of us losers? Confidence is the key.

Rosabeth Moss Kanter author of Confidence: How Winning Streaks and Losing Streaks Begin and End has narrowed the definition down to: 'Confidence is the expectation of a positive outcome.' She is a professor at Harvard and in her own words: "Confidence makes you willing to try harder and attracts the kind of support from others that makes 'winning' possible." How does one boost his/her sagging morale?

Praise others (this one's for bosses)

A little bit of praise (maybe flattery) does wonders. Words are powerful - a hint of scorn or praise can affect performance. In an interesting experiment, Harvard researcher randomly placed students in two groups labelled 'High-potentials' and 'Low-potentials'. Interestingly, those denominated as successful ...infact were. Body language says a lot too. Kanter commonly suggests failing businesses to refurbish the workplace. Appropriate surroundings automatically enthuse people to live up to high standards. And Kanter also doesn't find 'a good haircut' or 'personal grooming' frivolous. "You don't do those to dazzle someone...but to build confidence." So bosses reading this should remember - A few well-chosen words is all that's needed for 'victory'.

Pep yourself up

Have you observed athletes talking to oneself? Well, that is just what's required - and keep those words positive. Nothing can be more self-destructive than a negative self-assessment. Pepping your ownself may prepare you better for competition. Kanter practices what she preaches. She makes a deliberate effort not to show foul mood, if ever she is in one. She makes concious effort to smile and work harder. She also advises to coach oneself to create confidence. A good way is to exude satisfaction even in little things in life such as joining a book club. "These feelings are contagious." Start today and practice, practice and practice.

Though she is a much sought-after consultant, she doesn't let her success interfere in her day to day activities. She says that she is almost always over-prepared for any lectures. She doesn't waste any free time to revise details of any such meetings. She rehearses even during travel.

Choose 'Confident' friends

Kanter advises to avoid individuals who sap your energy and confidence. Steer clear of them. Hang out with people who see you at your best. Pessimists and critics drag you down. She tells us also to avoid 'gripe' sessions unless it is absolutely necessary and 'you agree to be part of the solution'. Confident people have a sense of control and they show it.

Make setbacks a pedestal, not a loadstone

Get up and walk after every fall rather than whine and nurse your wounds. Don't whine. Don't whine. Don't whine. She also has a word of caution though. If you suffer a major loss, take some time to absorb the blow. One should not deny hurt or try to solve the problem immediately. Ignorance to misfortunes could sometimes lead to bad decisions. Seek friends and loved ones for support when you are in the doldrums. The idea here is not to be stoicic but to be as human as possible. In simple terms: if you are too emotional following a stressful situation, postpone decision-making for a while. You may come up with better solutions when you have regained your composure.

Nostalgia in Kolkata

2006-03-01T05:54:00.000-08:00

My first stop in Kolkata was Manicktala. Manicktala ensconces five of my beautiful student years and I hadn't been back since 2000. I know the place like the back of my hand. My life in college revolved around Duff Hostel at 32/8 Beadon Street. Everything good, bad and ugly culminated eventually at day-end in the hostel. Manicktala had changed little since my last visit. The historic clock tower was still coated in that same ugly and much faded red and blue softdrink advertisement. My favourite lassi stall still stood at the crossing. Here one can have a soothing glass of delicious lassi topped with nuts and raisins at Rs. eight a glass. There is another lassi stall behind Free School Street, very popular with Western tourists and truly world famous in Calcutta. Anyway, that's a completely different locality. Let's stay in Manicktala for the moment. The only visible change was the newly laid tram tracks. Manicktala crossing was otherwise a life threatening tangled mess of steel. Now, the freshly laid tracks lay snuggly embedded in concrete.

Early morning hunger drew me to the stall which sold hot kachori and aloo. That shop entertains a mad rush even on Sunday mornings. Amazing. Breakfast over, I headed for Duff Church. It offers a bed and clean washrooms to weary travelers. It has two dormitory styled rooms. The room was a little damp this time and the mattresses emanated a musty odour. That was fine for me. I was going to be here only for a few hours. Besides, backpackers cannot be choosers.

The bath was refreshing. I put on a fresh set of clothes and checked the time. 9:30 AM. Oh, oh! I was going to be late. I was going to be late. I should have been in Salt Lake by now. I sped off to catch a bus.

I noticed on the bus that I wasn't properly zipped up. I had to zip up discreetly. Embarrassment galore.

The weather was a bit on the warmer side, but not the uncomfortable sticky kind of June nor the piercing dry sunshine of December. I have lived in various cities all over the country but the City of Joy is a favourite. There are volumes of bouquets and brickbats about Kolkata because a few lines simply do not suffice. New Delhi is charming but very introvert and aloof. I could not bring myself to love Delhi. I feared it. Gurgaon is a toadstool that sprouted because the rains fell on the desert sand. Halucinogenic and poisonous. Bangalore is lively and youthful. Not all can keep up with it. Kolkata is a cradle for birth, death and everything in between.

It was an unexpected boon for me that the office in Salt Lake was running on IST. The meeting didn't start until 11:00AM. It was an uneventful interaction and everything proceeded as hoped. I was back in Manicktala by 2:30 PM, visibly and mentally fatigued. I flopped onto the damp mattress. The sun had gone down when I regained consciousness and due to which there was a major alteration of plans. There was absolutely no time for a quick tour and certain commitments back home prevented me from stretching my visit for even a minute. The only things left for me to do were to take a quick shower, pack the bags and leave for the bus stand.

The following plans had to be struck out of the itinerary. A walk down College Street - one cannot fathom what hidden gems lie to be picked up from the used-book stalls for paltry sums. A walk down Chowringhee, the hub of the city and time permitting, gorge on a Black Forest at Kathleen's in Free School Street. I have heard rumours that the quality of the cake isn't what it used to be, but I had to find it out myself. Oh! And another thing. I have always made mandatory pilgrimages to Sreeleathers to pick up a pair of shoes everytime I am in Kolkata. This isn't a store for fashion buffs but for practical people. One can get good sturdy shoes at reasonable rates. Perhaps some other day.

Another benefit of traveling by bus is the free tour you get as you enter or leave the city. On our way out, the bus routed through fluorescent Red Road, AJC Bose Road onto EM Bypass, onto Dum Dum and then slowly faded into the stark emptiness of rural Bengal. I totally lost count of the number of flyovers we passed through. Three? Four? Five? Could be. The entire AJC Bose stretch is now two tiered and it was an inexplicable experience viewing Nandan (Bengal Film Centre) and Kolkata Information Centre from a totally different angle. If the number of flyovers can be equated to development, then surely Kolkata is on the fast track.

Back on the highway, overcome with nostalgia, I quickly dozed off. It wasn't only the city that was unwilling to let go. It was perhaps also the memory of a young lass of days long gone, fortified within the by-lanes and dilapidating edifices of Calcutta.

Let memories remain.

To Calcutta by Bus

2006-02-27T20:18:00.000-08:00

Saturday, 25th April

A letter through speed-post...

"This is to inform you that Y-O-U are to report to the RD at 123 Street, Salt Lake, Kolkata on the Sunday, 26-02-2006. You are to report by 9:30 AM..."

The letter was received at 1:30PM.

What followed was the apparent frenzy of packing, getting documents and presentations in order, making a memo of important items and issues, screaming for help to find me something, taking a breather, cursing (though not necessarily loudly) for having to prepare in such short notice and repeating the above all over again. Thankfully, it was all over without incidents.

Now it was time to arrange for transportation and evaluate the pros and cons of each medium. The only train would be leaving NJP junction at 7:30PM and would arrive at the destination in about 12 hours. The last bus would be leaving Siliguri at around 8:30PM would arrive Kolkata at 8:00 AM. All flights for the day had already taken off. The next flight would leave Bagdogra airport on the 26^th at 8 in the morning, fly all over the place and arrive at the destination at 11:00AM. Too late. Taking a flight was out of the question. The train journey would be a harrowing experience without a reserved berth. Besides, they are never on time. The best option would be an overnight journey by bus. It was going to be a rough ride and I needed to gear up for the occasion.

The next requirement was a three hours drive down to Siliguri. I looked at the watch. Damn, it was 3:30PM already! Just enough time for a quick bite. Lunch was over in fifteen minutes and I was out of the house by 4:30.

Once in the cab, all I needed was some divine intervention to get me down to Siliguri in one piece. Anything can happen in this hilly terrain.

I reached Siliguri at 7:30PM sharp. The Divine had intervened indeed. Thanks buddy!

Seeing me with baggage in tow, a swarm of brokers surrounded me.

“Kolkata? Good push-back seats. Video coach. New bus.”

I didn’t answer.

“Front seat.”

I kept mum.

“Front seat for rupees two hundred only.”

I usually opt for the Government bus service but since I was in no mood to haggle, I took the offer. The seat brokers usually offer front seats to gullible clients but usually don’t deliver once the money is on the table. But for some strange reason (celestial intercession maybe!), I did get a good seat this time. The broker was a young man, probably a few years younger than me. Given the opportunities like me, he perhaps would’ve have made a great businessman and I could’ve been the one knocking on his doors. Overcome with pity, I tipped him a tenner – I am a stoic on other days otherwise.

The bus was neat and had good comfortable seats. The conductor guaranteed that the roads were good and that we would reach on time. I was reassured of a peaceful journey.

The journey wasn’t so bad I should say. Ofcourse, there was this stupid movie that was being shown - something about students, an art college, a guy threatening to leap out of a Ferris wheel if the girl didn’t accept his proposal and other acts of idiocy. To further impair the predicament I was in, the sound system in the bus was horrible. Sick of the movie, I took solace in the trees whizzing past. It was all bliss when the DVD froze. The conductor was obliged to put on another movie. It was an Amitabh Bachan thriller – Sarkar. Much better. Most definitely viewable and a masterpiece compared to the other.

The road wasn’t too bad either. We were on the newly constructed highway for most part of the journey. There were rough and bumpy stretches in places, mostly due to the construction work going on. The inconvenience caused was pardonable. There were brief halts in three places. One in Krishnanagar for late night dinner and two more in nondescript places to vacate bulging bladders in the dark. My preference for fish and rice was a major blunder. Fish was a dry and rubbery piece of disaster. I had never seen fish in curry that made a cracking sound when broken into manageable pieces. I will stick to niramish (vegetarian fare) next time.

We reached Kolkata early in the morning. The bus eased through lazy Sunday morning traffic via E. M. Bypass, Dum Dum to Ultadanga. This was where I got down.

Barbeque

2006-02-18T09:37:00.000-08:00

Humans have been eating meat since time immemorial. I can imagine early man grilling his hard-earned kill over raw fire. An earliest instance of barbeque (also barbecue). It is perhaps this rooted instinct that leads us (non-vegetarians) to thorougly enjoy meat cooked over open flames. There are ample examples of delicacies prepared in such a manner in almost every non-vegetarian society. We have the famous tandoori chicken of North India, the smoked pork and smoked salmon of the US and Canada, sheekh (sheesh) kabaab of Arabic origin and numerous others, all different variations of the same theme. An ethereal flavour is generated when smoke meets meat. Something that my vegetarian friends cannot relate to. The enjoyment of ripping flesh with bare canines is almost surreal. My grandma used to say that meat can only be enjoyed with fat dripping through the sides of the mouth. Yes, she loved her meat and she was a great cook. Peace be upon her!

I can empathise with vegetarianism or prohibition of meat out of religious or ethical compulsions but I do not agree with Maneka Gandhi of PETA (India) who through some vague theory proposes that humans are not suited to eating meat. I respect her concerns but her theory is clearly moot. Though undeniably, debate is hollow with someone with more opinion than facts.

We had planned a week in advance for an open-air barbeque (barbecue). We are a die-hard non-vegetarian family and there is meat on the table almost everyday. I prepared the meat in advance. The pork (with due respects to my Muslim friends) was soaked in brine over a week and refrigerated. The beef (with due respects to my Hindu friends) was first flattened with a meat cleaver and marinated in a paste of black pepper, asafoetida (jeera), ginger, few drops of vinegar, soya-sauce and rum overnight. The chicken (with due respects to late Salim Ali) was also marinated whole likewise. Three different species, all for the asking. We had also invited a friend over for the flesh feast. We do not have a ready made barbecue so we had to make one today. The barbecue was hurriedly constructed with blocks of bricks and abandoned construction steel rods for the skewer. Once the crude barbecue was ready, we lit the fire to commence our festivities. The meat was place over low and smoky heat for two hours. The odour of burning flesh wafted through the air and very soon we had inquisitive neighbours peering over the wall. Our Marwari neighbours shut their doors and windows and were in confinement till the gala was over. Patience was at its minimum as everyone saw the meat sizzle. The trouble with such cooking jamboree is that every Tom, Dick and Harry has some advice to impart. So, we had almost everybody poking the meat here and there and turning it over. Some were pouring oil and some were placing smoking embers on them for extra flavour. I was seething with rage inside - afterall, we have all heard the famous adage - all the while keeping my fingers crossed, hoping the aftermath would be palatable. Mum even threw in a couple of potatoes into the fire.

After a harrowing wait they were finally done. Then the meat was sliced into chewable slices. Someone had prepared a basic salad, just cucumbers, tomatoes and onion rings. The roasted potatoes also turned out all right. Chappatis were also piled up high at one end of the table. The celebrations had begun in earnest.

There was a deathly silence as each rolled the chewy bits in their mouths, sometimes stopping to take a deep breath to thoroughly savour the juices. Everything was just perfect. Couldn't have been better.

In about fifteen minutes only a few morsels of burnt meat and other items were left on the table. A sign of a truly successful party. Need I say more.

Something of Interest

2006-02-16T10:04:00.000-08:00

Presenting a reader's paradise on the internet a.k.a. Project Guttenberg. The site boasts of 17,000 downloadable books in their archives. All for free. Free, free, free! And free as in gratis as in without charge as in complimentary. Sorry for overdoing that, but then the web has varied definitions of the term 'free'. They boast a great collection of readable material although I still wasn't able to find Jonathan Livingston Seagull. (Hints will be appreciated greatly). Behold, I present to you the top five downloads:

Notebooks by Leonardo da Vinci
Kamasutra by Vatsayana (what else!)
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (an all time favourite)
Little Journeys to the Homes of the Great by Elbert Hubbard. (hadn't heard about that one before.)

There is also Amusement in Mathematics by H. E. Dudeney for the numerically inclined and Relativity, Theory by ??? No prizes for guessing correctly. They also have a sizeable collection of Music Sheets, Moving Pictures, Still Pictures among others. I can't seem to hide my excitement. I spent nearly an hour drooling over the catalogue. Ga-ga-ga.

Finally, you may also download an ISO file to burn your own CDs and if your network doesn't have the oomph, you can also request for a free CD (although it does mention something about donations). For all this, who wouldn't spare a few bucks.

Still no Jonathan Livingston Seagull though. Ah well! Maybe someday.

Random Access Memory

2006-02-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to re-design my blog. What you see now is one such attempt. Looks presentable but I know I can do better. I hope I come up with a masterpiece that will stay online for atleast a year.

Between attempts at revamping and nitty-gritties of life, I've been doing very less browsing. Occasionally, I come up with interesting sites worthy of mention in the blog-world. There were days when I used to chat often. Then there were sleepless nights in the pool rooms of Yahoo Games. I wonder why I don't do that more often. I guess it was just a passing phase.

Anyway, that was not what I wanted to write about. Now, what was I going to write about? I've been forgetting things more often lately. I use a pen and forget where I last placed it. I can't remember names, faces and a whole lot of things. Am I going crazy? Not so according to Bob Gray.

I quote him: "There is no such thing as a bad memory...only an untrained one!"

That's a relief. Absence of mind has been a source of mirth time and again and most of it directed at professors. I don't find them funny anymore. What, with the regularity at which I am forgetting things?

One must have heard about the two sides of the brain, the right and the left. People who use the right more are creative and the people who use the left are more methodical. Or is it the other way round? Ones who use both have better memory. So, which side do I use? The middle part, maybe!

There's is a test you can try out on Bob's site. Or download it here. Maybe Bob wouldn't do it but DON'T FORGET to scan it for viruses. Please!

Nobody's Child - Concluding Part

2006-02-10T08:09:00.000-08:00

Sending SK to a hostel probably was the best thing that happened to her - and it was also one of the few plans that went well. Contrary to ghastly tales about hostels, this hostel was exactly what it purported to be - a home away from home. The children were treated well and without bias. They were praised where it was needed and reprimanded where it was due.

SK settled down to a cheerful hostel-life. Unlike her mates, for her, it was all fun and games. Her friends on the other hand, detested the routine regimen they had to follow. SK was different. She had finally found a family. She even called her guardians 'mother' and 'father'.

Seven years went by. SK grew up as a daughter of the family into a charming girl. She had led a pretty sheltered life and apart from some occasional scolding, much of her academic career so far had gone without any untoward incidents. Her parents, in the mean time, had migrated to Hong Kong. They visited her only once a year but she wasn't troubled much about that. She had spent all these years with this family - even the holidays because her grand-mother wasn't to keen on having her and her aunt was too far away.

Our's is a primary school, so it was finally time for SK to hunt for another school to complete her schooling. Though not an exceptional pupil, she managed to graduate from our school with good marks. She was granted a seat in a prestigious private school. Her parents were willing and able to afford such an expensive school. So once again, it was time for her to move on. Another school. Another hostel. We were glad for her and in a way proud of our achievements with her.

I quit teaching the following year and left for New Delhi.

I was home on a short summer break last year. Familiar faces, much needed respite from the hellish heat and home brought some joy. People were full of news. I soaked it all in with relish. Actually, all but one. It was somewhat sensational but I found it very disturbing and I wished I hadn't heard it. Our girl hadn't been able to handle the more liberal disciplining of High School. She had stepped out of line somewhere... somehow. She had become a drug addict and was made to quit school. She had occasionally resorted to stealing to sustain her addiction and had even been caught red-handed with the loot one day. Her fellow boarders had thrashed her that day and had snipped her long hair and pinned it to the dormitory door to make her humiliation complete. There were rumours that she was also having sexual encounters with some men. Something which was narrated rather graphically to me. But I'll omit the sleazy bits here because it is afterall, apocryphal. Her parents had been hurriedly summoned by the school principal all the way from Hong Kong, to hear an account of their daughter's escapades and of her release.

Her present whereabouts are unknown. She was hurriedly and secretly escorted out of the town one day. News travels pretty fast in this lazy town, you see. And anything is worthy of broadcast here. It is certainly better that no one knows where she is. Neither the milkman, the postman, Capt. L, nor I. Wherever she may be, I wish her well but I sometimes stop and wonder. Did we go wrong somewhere?

Nobody's Child - Part III

2006-02-05T08:48:00.000-08:00

Things were going fine with SK in school for about a year albeit all was not well on the domestic front. Grandma dearest, (who had raised six of her own), wasn't too keen on imparting her expertise on yet another, post-retirement. She was soon tired of running after the lively five year old. Moreover, she was diabetic. She made a living supplying butter made in the local farms, which meant she wasn't home most of the time too. Her daily rounds and her debilitating condition completely drained her energy. So, once home from business, she could do nothing but sleep. She had a maid to help her with domestic chores - a tiny consolation. Mummy dearest was home more often than before, that is for a few days every fortnight. A record by her own standards.

The little ones have only a few hours of school here. So, little SK was home for the larger part of the day. The maid played with her when there was time to spare. On other occasions, SK had to make do with television or her imaginary friends. Boredom engulfed her monotonous life. Then suddenly, objects around the house began to break mysteriously - cups, saucers, plates, expensive chinaware and objet d'arts. So, SK was made to stand outside as atonement for her annoyance. Grandma also had a new trick up her sleeve. She doled out a few rupees to the kid when she sensed mischief (on the condition that SK be everywhere except inside the house). The kid began to be seen outside the house more often. Come rain or shine, there she was, sitting on the doorstep watching the cars go by. She befriended the neighbours' children, some taxi drivers and a stray dog. A few drivers often gave her sweets and they became her uncles. She had never been taught not to accept eatables from strangers. Her guardians couldn't care any less.

A short explanation of a certain local custom is justified here before I go on to the next paragraph. In most Indian cultures, it is very rude to address someone older by name. It is therefore customary to address people through relations. Thus, someone a few years older is a 'brother' or 'sister', someone closer in age to your parents is an 'uncle' or 'aunt' and someone much older is a 'grandpa' or 'grandma'. A person related externally or a very close family friend may be addressed as 'father' or 'mother' but such is very rare. Thus, the concept of a 'neighbourhood brother', 'village uncle', etc. is not entirely outlandish. Someone a few years older or a peer addressed as 'uncle' or 'aunty' is to be taken in jest or as an insult.

Captain L, a concerned neighbour, often invited her to his home, especially on dull days. He showered her with affection. It is well documented that children respond very well to physical show of affection. Perhaps lacking some hugging and cuddling in her own home, she was drawn to this man. She began to refer to him as 'father'. A sweet but poignant gesture. So it became a habit with her to call anyone who showed some affection as 'father' or 'mother'. Very soon, she had a few fathers and mothers going around. She, by the way, referred to her own mother and father in a more westernized manner - as mummy and daddy.

On seeing her attempts at child-rearing go awry, mummy decided to put SK up in a private hostel. The hostel in question was more of a guest house. The couple running the hostel gave the children a family atmosphere for a small price. The inmates shared food from the same table, slept and played with the other children and were also subject to house rules. A typical home-away-from-home. An instant modern-day solution to the problems of working parents.

...to be continued

Nobody's Child - Part II

2006-02-02T09:18:00.000-08:00

Now this girl, whom we shall refer to as SK from now on, had a complete family - something I had not expected. However, that was only in theory. Let me elaborate. Her mother had been married twice before and had four progeny from them. SK's dad was her third husband. Nothing wrong about that - but here's the full picture.

SK's mother was a traveling businesswoman, that is she had business interests in numerous places, both in India and Nepal. So, she was seldom home and from what young Miss SK told me, she saw her only a few days in a year. SK, prior to joining our school, lived with her father. Her father was an average mining contractor trying to eke out a living in the remote and mountainous state of Meghalaya. He had risen from the lowly existence of a miner and now had saved enough money to lease a small colliery. It must have been a very profitable venture; carving out the carbon-rich hillsides using unscientific techniques and a motley crew of ribald, low-waged Nepalese miners. So while SK's father was out in the fields, SK stayed with the miner's wives and out-of-work miners. From time to time, she came up with very vivid descriptions of daily life in the mines. The days were spent in childish revelry - hide and seek and running helter-skelter around the shanty encampment. If that was all that she had done then perhaps she would've been OK. Sadly enough, it was the mining town's night-life that left an indelible impression on her vulnerable mind. The miner's ended their labourious days with boisterous celebrations. Spirits flowed freely, there were uncouth jokes galore, men and women teased each other (sometimes physically) and the language was filthy. I could be forgiven for adding that there could've been rampant prostitution in the small hamlet. It has been an oft repeated phenomenon in remote mining towns which, otherwise would have been a pretty nondescript and depressing area, especially for single and active men. SK saw it all in full colour. She perhaps should not have.

No well-meaning father would like to see a dear daughter growing up in such a manner. Good sense prevailed when she was four and her father decided to keep her in her aunt's care in the Dooars. It may have been a well planned strategy. It however, fell well short. SK was rescued from the frying pan and driven into the fire.

There not being any girls in the aunt's family, she was pampered and spoilt to the core. Her new life completely lacked any disciplining. Her much older cousin brothers were there at her beck and call and there was instant gratification of anything that took her fancy. To make matters worse, her crass vocabulary was laughed away. It was here that her mother came more frequently into the picture. She decided to bring her to Darjeeling a year later. Her grandmother lived here and mum would be around more often.

She was then admitted into our school while she lived with her grandmother.

...to be continued

Nobody's Child - Part I

2006-01-31T02:43:00.000-08:00

I've known her for a long time. A sweet child. Very active and outspoken. She must have been five when we first met. She was a student in the school where I worked as a part-time teacher. There was something strange about that kid. She wasn't the kind of child whose cheeks everyone wanted to pinch but there certainly was something odd about her. For starters, she was very much at ease in the company of adults and infact avoided her own peers. Her language could have been termed as coarse. We were astounded at the ease with which she used profanity in every sentence. Our children came from all kinds of backgrounds and her's was the queerest yet. And unlike her peers, her knowledge of adult topics was also amazing. She may not have fully understood the relevance of such matters but she did have the basic idea of how things worked.

We were all in a fix as to how to handle such a child. Actually, the lady teachers were in more hot water than us since the little ones were under their tutelage. I however must add that the gravity of the situation was of utmost concern to all. So how were we to handle the situation? We got suggestions from all quarters. Some thoughtful and some outrageous. Some feasible. Some impractical. Asking her parents to the seek the services of another academy undermined our own abilities. Arranging a personal tutor for her was a good tip but it meant hiring another teacher just for her. Not a very sound investment for a small school such as ours.

We eventually decided to treat her just like the others and deal with situations as they came. We however had to closely monitor her speech. We didn't want her to have any adverse effect on others. Children learnt new words very quickly and used them with gay abandon and we most definitely didn't want irate parents come banging on our doors. So, we had her eat with the teachers during lunch-time. She ofcourse was much pleased. Her own age group was uninteresting to her and the older students would not admit her into their own. The idea was to somehow re-mould her and then carefully introduce her to others of her ilk. Every now and then, we encouraged her to interact with her own. Oblivious to them, we always had a big brother or sister keep tabs on them. As soon as she said something amiss, we were quick to pounce on them. We separated the affected and the affectee and had them disinfected. Our disciplining method was quite simple. Everytime we heard her curse, she would have to eat the next day's lunch alone. Simple and effective. Our methods worked like a charm. She learnt quickly and within a span of a few months her language had improved and her vocabulary did not require much censorship anymore.

I was particularly curious to know how she had been brought up. I later learnt the truth. Something, which was to sadden me much.

...continued next post

The Album Hoarding Years

2006-01-27T08:56:00.000-08:00

I remember those days when I used to walk to school to save enough money to buy the latest album out in the local music store. Yes, cash was a rare commodity during the Wonder Years. For some strange reason, my taste in music was weird according to adolescent customs back then. My preference to the more bluey, jazzy, oldy and more poetic forms of music over hardrock was a source of ridicule and sometimes awe -but mostly mockery - from peers. I did listen to all forms of music, both Eastern and Western, without any discrimination but my preference clearly showed when it was time to buy cassettes.

(Images are hosted on Wikepedia. The owner of this blog will gladly remove it, if it infringes any copyright law and if requested to do so.)

Hardrock and heavy-metal was at its peak and it was going only one way from there. We didn't know it then. Nirvana and Kurt Cobain were making hay and ringing the death knell for the rock family. We didn't hear it then. I was at first appalled at this new form of music called grunge but a few listenings had me completely hooked. Perhaps it was because grunge sounded very filthy - both the name and the music - and our young hormone pumped bodies had us seeing, hearing and doing filthy things. I bought several of Kurt's albums only to have it pinched a few days later. At the height of my album hoarding years, I had five hundred plus cassettes and a few CDs, which was a luxury item then. Numerous pillages of my treasure chest has over the years depleted my collection down to fifty or so odd titles. All the gems are gone.

The popular Hindi music scene was totally different. Nothing new was happening. Musicians were blatantly plagiarising Western songs and passing it off as their own or as inspirations. Those who copied the newer Western titles were quickly spotted and the more prudent ones, who copied really old songs, were caught a few months later, but not before making a killing. Songs like ek do teen char...(one, two, three, four...) were plain stupid and nothing but pre-nursery pap.

Almost every teen wanted to be a singer or be in a band or start a band. So, to hone our non-existant music skills, we took guitar lessons and bought guitar chord booklets. We also hoarded song books and learnt songs too woo the opposite sex. I found a few of those up in the attic recently. I originally thought of using them as fuel but nostalgia subdued my urge.

I happened to stumble across an online song book a few days back. It is an A to Z of songs. One can read it online or download the PDF versions for posterity.

Thank You For Calling....

2006-01-25T03:55:00.000-08:00

Saturday

Beep...beep...beep...beep...beep.........

Voice: "Thank You for calling XYZ. To speak in English, dial 1...in Hindi, dial 2....in Bengali, dial 3."

Me: Beep

Voice: "To know about our services, dial 1...For billing information dial 2, for blah, blah, blah, dial 3...To speak to a customer service agent, dial 9...to go to the main menu, dial #"

Me: Beep

Voice: "Thank You for calling XYZ. I am So-n-so. How may I help you today?"

Me: "Hi! Is your network down? I cannot log on to the net."

So-n-so: "No. Our network's OK."

Me: "I cannot log on..."

Sonso: "May I have your number?"

Me: "Sure. 12-345-6789"

Sonso: "May I place you on hold for a minute. I will have to check a few things."

Me: "No problem."

.............................

..................................................

.....................................................................

....................................................................................

Sonso: "I'm sorry but you'll have to call your local representative."

Me: "OK!"

Sonso: "Are you on a dial-up or broadband?"

Me: "Dial-up"

Sonso: "Would you like to upgrade to broadband service?"

Me: "Let me try this first."

Sonso: (A little disappointed)..."OK! Is there anything else."

Me: "Nothing else."

Sonso: "Thank You for calling...Have a nice day!"

Click

Beep....beep.....beep........beep....................

Ring....ring.......ring..

Voice: "Hello! This is XYZ"

Me: "Is your network down?"

Voice: "Yes sir, the network is down. It should be up within a day."

Me: (With some relief) "Thanks!"

Click...

Saturday

The network trickled...

Sunday

No network......

Monday

..............

Tuesday

Same story

Wednesday

beeep....beep....beep.......bee.........p

Voice: "Hello! This is XYZ."

Me: "Is the network still down?"

Voice: "It is fine now. I has been working since Sunday."

Me: "I still cannot connect."

Voice: "Have you changed your settings?"

Me: "No I haven't."

Voice: "May I have your number please!"

Me: "12-345-6789"

Voice: "Let me check something. Please hold..."

Me: (Irritated)..."I always pay my bills on time."

Voice: "Uh..uh..mmmmm!"

Voice: (After sometime) "We'll work on it. I'll give you a call after a while. Sorry for the inconvenience."

...after an hour

Hurray! I'm blogging again...

Dogs

2006-01-21T06:07:00.000-08:00

Early one morning, I awoke amidst shouts and shrieks in the streets below. Who are those idiots? I thought to myself. It probably was about 5 AM and still partially dark. I peeked out from between the curtains to find a crowd gathered outside the railway godown. More people were coming in and a few were leaving. All those who left had the same expression of disgust on their faces.

This particular area of interest was an abandoned shed and provided refuge to the homeless and a few miscreants. It is no longer there today and a parking lot stands in its place.

Curious to investigate, I proceeded forth to the streets below. I still feel (even to this day) that I should never have been there. It was the most ghastly scene I had ever seen. On the floor was the old woman I had seen so many times before. (She and her husband usually sat outside the Buddhist Monastery to beg for alms from the devotees.) There was blood splatter all over, particularly around the head. Streaks of blood painted the wall as if someone had squirted on it with a syringe. I could see just the top of her head from the thick blanket that covered her. It was completely squashed. Just a few seconds of this gruesome picture was enough for me. I could feel bile rise up in my stomach so I quickly turned away.

Some people were questioning the old woman's consort a few yards away. I turned my attention to that discussion. The old man was explaining the night's incident. He spoke slowly and took long pauses in between, sometimes a little longer as grief overwhelmed him.

"Last night, a group of boys came in a van and started to pester us," he said.

"They wanted money. They had been stalking my old woman for the past few days..."

"...she did not budge... she was adamant... she did not agree to their demands..."

"They are drug addicts..."

"Then they started to beat her with rods and wooden beams...they made off with a can of coins."

"How much was there?" someone asked.

"Not much, about a few hundred rupees..."

"They killed her for a measly sum!" someone exclaimed.

The old man continued. "They were after the jerry-cans. The old woman stored her coins in the jerry-cans."

"What jerry-cans?" asked someone.

"It is there next to her body. I kept it there in the morning."

The police arrived for a proper investigation. They questioned the man and after examining the corpse, they decided it to send it to the hospital for an autopsy.

They are dogs I tell you. Dogs. How much could they have got from these defenceless, homeless folks? I thought to myself. Couldn't have been more than a few hundred rupees! Well, I was wrong.

All eyes fell on two ten-litre jerry-cans as the police removed the corpse. Both were filled to the brim with coins.

Still, not a strong enough motive for murder!

Not Exactly What I Was Looking For

2006-01-17T10:22:00.000-08:00

This blog has been stagnant for a couple of days. This is the story behind it...

I was searching for a PDF version on Richard Bach's Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Have you read it? You should, if you haven't. It is a great novel - and a very brief one - about a seagull who wants to rise above his peers. For most seagulls, eating is a favoured and accepted activity. Jonathan is the odd one out. He wishes to be the best flier in the seagull community, much to the disappointment and chagrin of his community. His odd ways lead him to be ostracised from his community. I had heard that a free PDF of this book was available.

I was hoping to provide a link to the free ebook as a boon for whatever trickle of readers I've been getting. After hours of frantic Googling, Yahooing, Lycosing and what have you, I finally found a PDF befitting the description. Then I set out to download, which took some time considering that I've been on a lazy network for a few days. And this is what I get.

This wasn't what I was looking for. It may be useful nonetheless. It is about model planes. You may download it if you are a model plane fanatic and want to learn how to make one.

I am still on the lookout for the book and would appreciate any clues.

The Prophet - Khalil Gibran

2006-01-11T09:19:00.000-08:00

Khalil Gibran was a Lebanese poet and artist. He later migrated to the US of A. He was well known for using formal language to describe life on spiritual terms. The Prophet is his best known work.

Get a free PDF version of this book here.
Here is a chapter from this book.

ON LOVE

THEN said Almitra, Speak to us of Love. And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said: When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for Gods sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Lifes heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only loves peace and loves pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of loves threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, God is in my heart, but rather, I am in the heart of God.

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate loves ecstasy; To return home at evening tide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

A Rough Diamond

2006-01-09T04:46:00.000-08:00

Had my mother had as half a libido as Pamela Anderson or Marilyn Monroe, I would have had a stronger bone structure. She being 'Born-again Christian' took the concept to heart and found herself a soldier, a pious man in his own rights. Thus, the bond certified 'Till death do us part' and sealed with a kiss set the ball rolling for my dramatic entry. I was born after an extended period of labour and once the formalities were over, mother held the bundle of mucous close to her bosom with a sigh of relief. Dad looked into her eyes, smiled and said, "We're parents now!" but what he meant to say was, "Was that your best attempt?"

Can't hold it against him really. Here I was, a ghastly sight, a tiny prick with little gray matter mostly consisting of my bloated ego and a thick skull to house it. A weakling by birth, the delicacy of my organs became even more apparent as I reached adolescence, compounded further by a rickety framework that protected it. I sure would have loved to have dad's wrists, as wide as railway tracks. Instead what I got were feeble twigs that can hardly be passed off as wrists. Probably the only thing I got from dad was his chest, a very macho thing. Infact, so enthused was a school friend by it that he never missed a moment to let his hands run over it. So, every time we lined up for the school's morning assembly (which was a long time ago), two hands would suddenly emerge from behind, feel it and a soft voice would whisper in my ear, "You have a great chest." A few feels later, I was beginning to doubt where his interests lie. Having said that, my adolescent chest certainly was very manly, provided one ignored the rest of the body or else the imagery one got was of a horribly emaciated girl with under-developed torso.

Going through that impressionable age was a challenge. There were times when all I did was sit and gloat.Virtually everything and anything impressed me - Arnie's biceps, Brad Pitt's cheeks, Connery's lisp, Brosnan's gait and even Liv Tyler's eyes for crying out loud. I was thoroughly confused.

Come to think of it - so what did I want to alter about my appearance? First thing's first. I would've liked a few more bones up my spine, may be an inch or two more in my thighs. No, make that six inches. Big B's voice. Yes, that would be nice. Redford's jaws. Stallone's chest. Pre-shaved ofcourse! Pitt's cheeks. Not the kind you're thinking of.

Let us reflect on this transmogrification for a few moments.......................

.............................

..............................

..............................Wow! That would've been some hideous creature. Very Picassoistic. Very good for auctions but very bad for functionality.

I shall now mope in silence for what I could have been. Then I shall laugh at those silly juvenile notions. Then I shall finally come to terms with the present and grin like a lunatic. I couldn't have been better or worse. I am just fine. I have a supportive family, a great house and lovely parents (who have stayed together thus far). May God grant them many more years together!

Now what else could a guy ask for.

The Swindler's List

2006-01-04T11:00:00.000-08:00

India is full of them. They come in all shapes and sizes, have winning smiles, a pleasant tone and a friendly attitude. Beware of them for they are chronic swindlers and they are out to get you.

Let me give you a thoughtful insight on their modus operandi. Like I said, they have winning smiles that shield a devious and analyzing mind. They are quick to note your weaknesses and once they are able to assess your pliability, they will make their move to fleece you off your possessions. For most, monetary gain is a priority but I've seen some whose daily objective is to live off others - money or not.

Need toothpaste? Grab someone else's.

Want a shower? Grab someone else's soap and towel.

Have a closet full of dirty laudry (most of which are someone else's)? Snatch someone else's shirt or trousers or whatever. The list is endless.

I don't know about others but I am a crook-magnet. I attract these scoudrels like a lamp attracts flies. As much as I despise these low-life, I must admit my admiration for their dexterity. I've also noticed that such people are intelligent but habitually lazy. So most of them are mediocre performers in study, work or play.

Absolute nobody is immune to such conniving mountebanks. Some, like me, blissfully fall time and again into their traps.

I once went shopping for soccer equipments for the local kids' club. At the sports goods store, I decided to purchase twelve sets of brilliant blue jerseys and matching shorts along with two footballs and few other items. I arranged for the items to be packed. The shop assistant was gazing intently at my trusty old two-wheeler parked outside while he packed. He eventually spoke.

"Is that your bike?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to carry it in that bag?" - pointing to my bag strapped to the side.

"Yes." Then the conversation took a different turn here.

"Let me re-count the items."

"OK." So he began his monotonous activity. Picking an item up and placing it elsewhere. The ordeal was finally over and he proclaimed, "Sir, everything's fine," as he handed the package over.

"Thank You!" I replied, completely oblivious to any malice.

The actual intentions of the seemingly naive investigation dawned on me once I examined the contents of the bag back home. Missing were four sets of jerseys and shorts among other things. I could've gone back to the store to expound on the mistake but I did not. It would've been an exercise in futility because I knew exactly what I would be told.

"Oh sir! You were on a bike. It must have fallen out." Then I'd have to return in utter humiliation.

On another occasion, I went to a watch-maker to have my watch batteries replaced. Having myself replaced it a couple of times before, I proceeded on with just the old battery for sampling.

Having compared the battery with others, the repairman produced a match.

"Hand me your watch. Let me replace it."

"I'll replace it myself. Just give me the battery, please!"

The repairman shrugged his shoulders, as if I couldn't do it. As he was handing over the tiny cell, he dropped it - which at the time seemed completely accidental. After that, it was a quick search to locate the thing with me peering over the counter for clues. When nothing turned up, he handed over another cell, this time from another strip (which was in a drawer while the original strip lay on the counter).

Later on I found to my dismay that the cell was too thin for my watch. Yes the size seemed fine but only thinner.

I also had a roomie last year, a certain Mr. D, whose favourite line in a restaurant was "You pay for me now, I'll pay you later. I need to buy other things and I don't have enough on me."

I avoided him like the plague if I had to eat out but then there were times when you needed company and he was the only one around.

When I recall those incidents, I find myself angered, amused and frustrated at the same time.